Jokes

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. 

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. 

“Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.” 

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.

Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! 

A Father's advice

A man and his young son were sitting at a table in a public house. The father - after having several glasses of wine and orderring another one - said to his son :

- Never drink too much, Jonny. When you realize that you've had enough, go home immediately.

- But, father , how can I realize when I've had enough ?

- That's very easy . For instance , do you those two men drinking at the bar ?If instead of two , you suddenly saw four men there , that would mean that you had drunk too much .

Walk On Water

Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Bubba's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Jim Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Bubba stepped out of the boat... and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother. 'Grandma,' he asked, 'it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him? '

Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said, 'Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July !

No Sunday Newspaper

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The little old lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as the little old lady was heard to mutter, "Well, s**t... that's why no one was at church today."

Bad News

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."

"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the elderly patient. ]

The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."

"That's terrible," said the old man. "How can the news possibly be worse?"

The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."